daniel type i diabetic bracelet 1

Sleep deprivation. Ah, the badge you earn with a newborn! The dark circles you endure due to night time feeding and diaper changes. The sudden need for a nap during daylight, but the inability to get one because... kids. Ah, how I have missed this... wait.. what?! No! No, I have not missed this. In fact, based on my own sleep issues (sleep apnea), it never went away! Except, now.. my sleep deprivation could have life threatening, catastrophic effects!

I am the first person to admit the necessity of coffee to keep me function on a daily basis, both pre and post T1D Diagnosis. I am also the first person to admit I can't do simple math! These two things on their own are bad enough, but pair them up... Yeah. I need all the prayer and caffeine a girl can get!

The reality of a T1D parent means night time alarms to allow you to wake up and go into your child's room, set up the blood glucose monitor with the strip, remember to close the strip canister to not damage all the strips in there, don't touch the tip of the strip, wipe the finger with alcohol wipe and not let the now clean finger touch the other not clean fingers, poke his clean finger, wipe the first drop off (old blood, inaccurate reading), then after putting the blood on the meter strip, apply pressure to the finger so it clots, change the needle of the finger poker so it's ready for the next prick, log the reading, wake up child and force feed him juice if he's low, let him go back to sleep, note the time he finished the juice, set a timer for 15 minutes, and start all over again, repeating as needed. I realize that was one of the longest run on sentences I've ever written, but that's what it feels like. Then, by the time you get back to bed and fall back asleep, you have to do it again in 2 hours.

Then, when your breakfast time alarm goes off, you don't get to casually grab a cup of coffee and consume that much needed caffeine before checking him. You get up and stumble (eyes closed half the way) to his room, do what you did every 3 hours last night and as soon as you are done, go back to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast and do the simple math that you are unable to do fully caffeinated after a beautiful night's rest. You do this math, while still trying to wake up without having had time to make or pour coffee yet. I praise GOD for his regular routine he sticks to. I praise GOD that he is predictable in what he eats every day. Because of this, at least I know how many carbs are in his meal, and if I can't remember, I have his log to look back on (part of why we keep one). I may know the carbs, but when his dosing changes, I have to re-do THAT math. If his pre-breakfast levels are low, I have to subtract some of the carbs and calculate that in. If his pre-breakfast is actually high, I have to calculate how much extra insulin he will need on top of what he needs for the carbohydrates he's about the consume.

They say that driving drowsy is the same as driving drunk. Can YOU imagine having to do math, and SAFELY dose insulin and deliver the injection while tipsy? It's risky. I get nervous. I can't let that nervousness show, though, because then he'll get nervous and not want me to give the insulin for fear it will hurt worse this time.

Most days, I'm able to sneak a few sips of coffee into my mouth while I'm preparing his breakfast and insulin, but that's if Brad (my husband) manages to get up before me and make the coffee. You'd think that we'd take advantage of the auto start feature on our machine, but that takes planning and effort when we are sleepily stumbling to bed knowing we need to get up in a few hours to check his levels.

Type 1 Diabetes doesn't sleep, and for now, I don't either. Some day, we may find a bit of rest when we are able to have a continuous glucose monitor. Some day, he will no longer sleep through the night time finger pricks because HE'S gonna be the one to do it. For now, I stumble and I pray for a moment in the day when I can take a couch nap without his sister waking me up.

As my 8 year old niece, Emma, said a couple years ago "I can sleep when I'm dead!"

Until then, happy coffee!

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